Life.
Honestly, the past week was tormenting.
I was feeling very down, going through a very hard and emotional breakdown.
I cried, for the first time in my life over stress from being bullied. It sucks.
But life has it's own way of torturing us, I assume.
Today, I found out that the one kid I really disliked in the past, has passed away in a car crash.
He was never favourable if you asked me but he is still young and deserves much more than this.
His death was unexpected and I hope you rest in peace Joel, I really do.
Deepest condolences to your family. I also hope his family will stay strong.
And right now, today as I have gotten not only one bad news but TWO.
I realize, by saying 'I want to die.` isn't that funny anymore.
Just last week I was telling myself that and worrying the people who cares for me.
I'm ashamed of myself. Being able to wake up everyday, I should be thankful.
Abide the fuckeries I'm going through daily, I should be grateful that I am still breathing.
It sucks and it fucking hurts to receive news like shocking death of the people around me.
I don't want to feel that way anymore.
I almost cried out because someone dear to me told me she ALMOST got into an accident.
And I thank god SO MUCH for not allowing it to happen.
From now on, I will at least try to appreciate life because we only have one life.
There's no turning back when an unwanted wish is granted.
There isn't. Stop saying you want to die because you don't.
Stop saying words like `fuck my life` because be GRATEFUL you are still breathing and able to open your eyes.
I may sound like I'm preaching or very religious but this has nothing to do with religion.
I'm not even a girl who gives a damn about praying. Because I believe only in karma and whatever you do, in the end you will get it back. Be it good or bad, that is your choice.
God, for all we know doesn't even exist but yet we still come back to him, thanking him for everything we are receiving or cursing him for the bad moments bestowed upon us.
To me, God is a 3-lettered word that I use a lot in both, thanking and cursing because, that's life and apparently, God gave it to us.
(tbh idek wtf am i saying but yeah you get what i mean. stop trying to die alright?)
