When I Fall.

When you feel like dying, look on the bright sight and you will realize, there are many things that is worthy of your breathe.

In my case, I've had horrible times. Suicide almost became my solution.
But on the bright side, I realized that I should expect the unexpected. It's sad to face the truth that people whom appreciate me for who I am and what I do, happens to be the ones that I can't reach them as easy as I thought I could with the ones that I expected them to be there for me.

Yeap, I doubt any of them even knows what I've been through or how I've felt for the past 3 weeks. If their solution to such friendship is ignorance, then so be it. It's been so long and just when I thought I was actually someone important in their lives, I guess I thought wrongly. I was never someone in their life. I was a toy that they think they could play with me whenever they need to and then shove me off their lives when they are done playing with me. They assume, that I have no feelings. They expect me to fulfill their expectations but have they ever fulfill mine? I happen to find myself back and I've realize that everything changes from time to time, especially people. Yes, maybe in your eyes, I'm the one who changed. Maybe I've changed. But I am beginning to love my changes because, I'm changing for someone that actually appreciates me for who I am. They don't take me for granted. They console me when I am in depression. They try to cheer me up when I am down. They wish the same wish that I wish, that they could be the one hugging me when I felt neglected. They wish they could be the ones wiping my tears away. They even spend time worrying for me. They make me feel that I am actually worthy of living. But have you ever did so? For the past 3 weeks, I've learnt many things about what I thought was my special thing in my life. Turns out, they aren't that special anymore.

It's fascinating how I live my life really. How I accept things in my life. How I cope up with my surroundings. And it's tiring to be facing such shits over and over again. It's time to put an end to it :)

I wish I am anywhere but here. Anywhere but in this place I feel so dark and lonely and the only light that is guiding me happens to be everywhere but here.