#490 #sukahati

I'm done being your friend.
So sick and tired with your games.
You are such a fucking hypocrite.
You're not worth my wrath, my energy and now, my friendship.
Really? After everything we've been through and for me to actually witness such fuckery?
Wow. Just wow.

I have nothing more to say.
Goodbye maybe, suddenly goodbye seems like the best word to say to you.
I really really really really HATE you right now.
I just wish- I really wish-

`Let's rearrange. I wish you were a stranger I could disengage.

You say that we agree into never change.

It's all fading a bit until we all just get along.

But that's disregard. You found another friend and you dis-called.`

How about you go and study upon what's going on between us because I'm really tired of trying to fix every single little friendship I've treasured over the past years and bit by bit all of them precious friendships are sinking deep and I can't pull them back out. 

Either I'm drowning or no one is reaching out to grab my hand. 

I'm.....tired. so so very tired.

#489 At Last

I've done it. I've won my very last battle.
Internship is over! I am officially a free woman that has completed 3 life goals.
Next life goal, Samsung Galaxy S3.

Eheheheheeheheheheheh this image has been fun :)

View from 33rd Floor. Night city ♥

#488

I am infuriated by everything and anything.
Mad at the fact that I am a female.
Mad at everything that concerns about me being a woman.
Mad at everyone that deserves a punch from me.
Mad at the entire universe.
Just....furious, infuriated, angry, pissed, and I feel like punching anything I can punch.
Maybe a mirror. Through the process of punching I'd injure my artery and bleed until I regret.

Why am I a woman?
Why do I have a vagina?
Why must I go through period?
Why must I suffer all these fuckeries just because I'm a fucking female?
NOT FAIR. I've had it. Done with everyone and everything.
Watch me vanish.

#487 life

Life.

Honestly, the past week was tormenting.
I was feeling very down, going through a very hard and emotional breakdown.
I cried, for the first time in my life over stress from being bullied. It sucks.
But life has it's own way of torturing us, I assume.

Today, I found out that the one kid I really disliked in the past, has passed away in a car crash.
He was never favourable if you asked me but he is still young and deserves much more than this.
His death was unexpected and I hope you rest in peace Joel, I really do.
Deepest condolences to your family. I also hope his family will stay strong.

And right now, today as I have gotten not only one bad news but TWO.
I realize, by saying 'I want to die.` isn't that funny anymore.
Just last week I was telling myself that and worrying the people who cares for me.
I'm ashamed of myself. Being able to wake up everyday, I should be thankful.
Abide the fuckeries I'm going through daily, I should be grateful that I am still breathing.

It sucks and it fucking hurts to receive news like shocking death of the people around me.
I don't want to feel that way anymore.
I almost cried out because someone dear to me told me she ALMOST got into an accident.
And I thank god SO MUCH for not allowing it to happen.

From now on, I will at least try to appreciate life because we only have one life.
There's no turning back when an unwanted wish is granted.
There isn't. Stop saying you want to die because you don't.
Stop saying words like `fuck my life` because be GRATEFUL you are still breathing and able to open your eyes.

I may sound like I'm preaching or very religious but this has nothing to do with religion.
I'm not even a girl who gives a damn about praying. Because I believe only in karma and whatever you do, in the end you will get it back. Be it good or bad, that is your choice.

God, for all we know doesn't even exist but yet we still come back to him, thanking him for everything we are receiving or cursing him for the bad moments bestowed upon us.

To me, God is a 3-lettered word that I use a lot in both, thanking and cursing because, that's life and apparently, God gave it to us.

(tbh idek wtf am i saying but yeah you get what i mean. stop trying to die alright?)

#486

I can't do this anymore. Thus, I need to blog this out.

EVERYTHING hasn't been great. In fact, today, I cried.

I let tears of weakness escaped from me. that's how weak i've become. i don't like it.

i want my life back.

#485 Willis Oon Chin Chung

SO OLD ALREADY THIS UNCLE :)

Hope you will have a great day this year.

Stop acting like a sampat. AND PLEASE STOP YOUR VIOLENCE!

Also may all your wishes come true~ 

Tengok pak cik yang tua so lucky get to have selca with moi lol joking n_n

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AUNTY RYEOWOOK. Woi, time passes so fast these days I can't keep up any longer :( 

29th June 2012, 30th June 2012, 1st July 2012 here we go! ♥

#484 Laura Choo Pei-yi

Surprise mission was a success. Sleepover was a blast. We love you Laura ♥

It was an early surprise birthday party planned out by the one and only team sakai! (which were only me & enne at that moment)

So many moments of being sakai, sampat and a loser.

I love my many different groups.

#teamsakai #loserclan #yadongcrew

#482

It feels great to be able to enjoy these with the favourite peoples in my life. 2 weeks into internship and it has been tough because of the travelling hours and lack of sleep yet, I've learnt quite a lot of new information from the department I'm assigned to and my boss, supervisor and colleagues are all cutie pies :)

The wonders of Starbucks and meeting up with Enne, Laura, Yin and perhaps YDC does to me is definitely a bonus. Every second spent with them are always lovely and I wished we are all staying together :')

I definitely want to spend time hanging out with certain humans from Klang too! Waiting for the right moment to kacau my beloveds from Klang ^^

#ADVERTISING

I AM DESPERATE.
ANYONE WHO IS VIEWING MY BLOG PLEASE BE A KIND SOUL!
JUST CLICK ON THIS AND LOAD THE PAGE AND YOU CAN CLOSE IT ALREADY.
THAT SIMPLE. ONE CLICK. PLEASE? <333
The dateline is on monday 7pm, help me please ;~~~~~~~; spread the link if you can <3!

#481 Block B

It happened. It finally happened!

I MET BLOCK B.
I FINALLY SEE THEM WITH MY OWN EYES.
HEAR THEM WITH MY EARS.
SCREAMED SO HARD FOR ALL MEMBERS (even for jiho, who was absent)
and.....trolled like a boss :)

They are so gorgeous picture does no justice for their beauty.

You have no idea how much I flipped when I first saw you. Why must you be the first person to come out to the stage. Why did I happen to realize it was you and not mistaken you as Taeil? 

(now why do I always seem to see my biases first in every event I go to! maybe it's fate, i really don't know but they will always be the first person I lay my eyes upon and it hurts because I don't want to believe this kinda delusional `fate` I am implying upon myself)

Why must you tweet a pic of yourself in checkered tee you know how weak i am for biases in checkered tee and you had to tweet a pic of yourself in my favourite designed outfit on the day you are at my country !! sakai minhyuk, you are the best bias. God looking, not a loser /yet/ and just a sweetheart ♥

AHAHAHAH sampat jaehyo's act of vandalism :')

the only SPRITE for the only MINHYUK-SHIN ♥ picky idiot i swear.

nyehehehehe n_n

Lastly,

oh yeah #dealwithit #rolllikeabuffalo

Troll Club

#481 Time for War

3 months. 3 months of war.
GO GO POWER RANGER!
It's tiring and hard, and to be really honest I hate every bit of travelling daily up and down, not getting enough sleep, being cranky and just, well I miss having all the time of my world to laze and socialize.

But I can have all of that after 3 months. so for 3 months, let's do this!

Lettuce begin!

#480 #tiffrim stands for life

Significant date requires a significant post, thus the reason I am here!

24th May 2012 marks the second year of our anniversary! ♥ 

Happy 2nd Year! Despite our stupid distance and the horrible fact that we can't be there for each other physically during our hardships, we're still going on strong. I love you ~despite me going around flirting with the malaysians~ :) 

Nah the caramel frape you wanted ♥

MISSING SINGAPORE SO MUCH :(

#479 Just stop.

Fridays will always be my favourite.

Sometimes, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and see the demon and monster that you are.

You are infuriating me by the second and it's not exactly the best thing to infuriate a bull like me.

So, please stop being the bitch that you are at the moment(more like the bitch that you have ALWAYS been). Don't make me despise you more after I dislike you. I've stayed out for way too many times (most of the times) where you decide to ruin everything lovely around me. This time, try ruining again and WATCH me ruin YOU instead. Tolerance has it limit. You're reaching mine. 

You are not worthy for me to punch the wall. I'm infuriated to the point I would definitely enjoy punching but you are not worth the pain that will be inflicted upon my fist. That proves how much I want to shut you out of my life for the monster you have become. It's funny how after all these years, rather than I watch you turn into a better person, you have become a monster that has no turning back. You are not worth the effort for me to try saving what's left of us. 

On the other hand, I've finally settled everything I needed to and I'm dreading my working days but I'm glad I've been accepted.

#478 Just lovely.

Lovely ♥

These are my self-reward after surviving my interviews. Last one to go! Go go power ranger :)

#477

The wonders of a cup of Starbucks can do ♥

Thank You.